Forgiveness

In his book, Cries from the Cross, Erwin Lutzer says:
"Should we forgive those who refuse to ask for it? Since God does not forgive those who refuse to ask for His forgiveness, why should we? The answer is that when our forgiveness is not requested, we must still grant it in the sense that we release our bitterness to God and commit our adversaries to Him.
"In human relationships, when forgiveness is requested, reconciliation is never a certainty. "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him." Luke 17:3 - 4 (NIV). The goal of forgiveness is always reconciliation, that is, the uniting of two divided hearts. But when forgiveness is not requested, the offended part must sill choose to "forgive" in the sense that the injustice is turned over to God. If not, the hurt and anger will destroy the human psyche and grieve the Holy Spirit. The perpetrator has caused enough pain already; the only way to be free from his or her continuing influence is to "forgive" by surrendering the matter to God." (Page 48)

A few paragraphs later he says:
"Should we forgive those who ask for forgiveness even when we doubt their sincerity or cannot trust their motives? The answer is yes, for we cannot see the human heart. Jesus told the disciples that they must be willing to forgive many times - seventy times seven - if they wished to understand God's forgiveness. However - and this is important - forgiveness must again be distinguished from reconciliation. A wife can forgive her adulterous husband, but that does not mean that she is required to blindly trust his lifestyle. There has to be counseling, the passing of time, and accountability. Regain trust is a long, often difficult process."

Question #3

I have appreciated the response to the questions. So here is number three which is more of a statement than a question.

We forgive but we feel by being nice we are approving the lifestyle?

Again I would say that forgiveness is not the same as approval. As a child of God I do not have a choice whether to forgive or not. Jesus makes it clear that we are to forgive unconditionally. When Jesus was hanging on the cross He did not say that if they sought forgiveness then He would forgive but He forgave them knowing what they were doing was wrong. Did He approve of what they were doing? There is no condition given for forgiveness.
Jesus says that we are to forgive before we go to that person. Then why go? Forgiveness has already happened. We go to let them know that what they did was wrong but you have released them, you have no power over them. You cannot make them repent. You have done your part.

Again, what do you think? Thanks Pastor for your comments.

Question #2

The second question was:

What is the difference between forgiveness and enabling?

Forgiveness is not about ignoring the sin but rather confronting it. However, it is willing to take liability for that sin ourselves. Forgiveness is not seeking to get revenge or payback. When one forgives, someone has to pay. If you forgive then you are willing to pay. There is another aspect of forgiveness that is different than enabling and that is the forgiver is not trying to be superior or control the other person.

Enabling is often just nothing more than ignoring the wrong and not looking for restitution either from the forgiven or the forgiver. Forgiveness is willing to go to the person having already forgiven that person.

What do you think? I love to hear your comments.

Question #1

Last night I was given three questions. Here is question number 1.

What if the son did it over and over just using the family?

I would appreciate any response to this question. Two things come to my mind. First, Jesus' words to Peter when he asked how many times should be forgive his brother and was told that basically he should keep forgiving without counting. The second is Mark 11:25, "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." Forgiveness is never about the other person. It is always your move. We must forgive even if there is no repentance. Forgiveness that keeps score is not forgiveness. There is no conditions on repentance.

Please respond. What do you think?

Keith Green

Last night after class one of class told me to watch Keith Green's song about the prodigal. Here is a copy.

Guard your heart.

I commented earlier that I was an elder brother prodigal and they are quick to judge. I used that as an illustration tonight in the class and at one time I had to stop and realize that I was judging again. My convictions didn't change but how I present them in a class was wrong. My heart has to be guarded. I am an elder brother.

Idolatry

Both brothers were guilty of idolatry. The younger brother wanted the father's things more than the father. This is the essence of idolatry. This idolatry leads to immorality. The elder brother was also guilty of idolatry. He wanted to protect the father's things for later. This shows in self-righteousness and anger. He also did not care for his father but for what he could get from the father.
It is the same for us. We either want things more than God so we reject God and follow our own lusts or we serve God for what we can get from God. Both are idolatry. We have put things (or gifts or service) above the Father.